Vaginal Discourse

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[Trigger warning for suicide, homophobia, and transphobia]

Note: I wrote this in October 2010. I’ve been sitting on it since then. With the Transgender Day of Remembrance coming up this Sunday, I feel like this is a good time to share it.

I’m a survivor. I’m also not a therapist. It’s not in my interest (or yours) for me to counsel you on mental health. Thus, I’m keeping the comments closed.


An acquaintance took her life this past weekend.

This post isn’t about me (or her), but for the record, I’m doing alright. Members of this particular social circle are in various stage of processing, doing what they need to do.

I trust many readers will not be surprised to find out that my acquaintance was a young, queer and gender non-conforming woman (who I’ll refer to as Sam). The last person I knew to commit suicide, back in 2008, was a trans woman named Sarah.

It’s important to not erase the many straight people who wrestle with depression and self-harm. However, I want to take this moment to give folks yet another reminder of the shortcomings of the media’s newfound (and, I suspect, fading) interest in homophobic bullying and suicide. Read more…

It’s been a couple of months since I posted at this blog. I think it’s time for an update.

The past few months have been, um, amazing. My academic job has become increasingly, um, amazing. Everyone in my house took turns getting sick, which involved several trips to the ER, many roadtrips to Rochester, and one surgery. (We’re better now, thanks.) My derby team has been dealing with some serious drama (think lawyers). Last but not least, my household finances have been the same as always.


I have a new job. It’s not in the academy. It’s not in Syracuse. We’re moving back to Madison around Christmas. That’s incredibly wonderful and stressful.

So, perhaps it’s understandable that I haven’t been posting much of late. I’m over my latest bout of depression, but now I’m just tired. My brain just isn’t working the way I’d like it to. This is frustrating, because I’ve got tons and tons of stuff to say about my life, the academy, Syracuse, and moving home.

Once I get settled in Wisconsin and my anxiety calms down, I plan on doing a lot more writing. Indeed, one of the reasons I took my new job is that I wanted to make space in my life for writing.

As far as the fundraiser goes, it’s still on. However, I don’t have a surgery date in site. I need to refresh the tally, but I believe I’m edging pretty close to $2000. (Amazing! Thank You!) I’ll get the money raised, eventually. I’m hoping the new job will help.


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